Statistically speaking, every single one of our current and future partners will become our ex-partner one day.
You can’t escape it. Most relationships we enter will eventually perish. The only thing left to do is wonder when exactly it will happen.
Getting back to the statistics, it can be said that most of the aforementioned break ups usually happen too late. At least for one of the parties.
THE THREE STAGES OF EVERY RELATIONSHIP
I love the first stage of a relationship. The butterflies in your stomach, the smooching and kissing… The “I love you, I miss you, I want you, I’ll be by your side forever” stage. You’re the best, you’re the greatest, you’re the one, but let’s go back to bed now, ‘cause we haven’t made love in more than an hour.
The middle stageof a relationship is pretty nice, too. That’s when your emotions settle down abit and you seem to know where you stand and who’s boning you from the back. You start to discover more than just the virtues of your partner; you start noticing their flaws, as well, but you’re still in love, as the feelings you have towards them are stronger than their shortcomings.
I hate that last phase, though. When you just want to get it over with. You know that she’s not the one. You know that he won’t be the father of your kids. You even know that he’s not that great in the sack, so, well, let’s allot this relationship to run its course, sure, but it’s not going to be a tragedy when it ends.
The level of commitment will always spiral downwards. Sooner or later. That’s when cases of cheating start happening. That’s when you don’t feel like spending time with your partner and you wish that somebody else was lying next to you after you have sex.
I, too, have failed to end a few relationships when the time was right. But most people never end them as they cannot bring themselves to admit to a mistake. They’ve invested too much in their relationships to just bring them to an end. So many beautiful plans have been made… Moving into a new house, children, families, dinners with the inlaws, presents under the Christmas Tree.
I failed to end relationships because I was lazy. I never lived with any of my women, and they didn’t bother me that much when we only met up from time to time. You know, it was great, we had sex and I’d throw them out in the morning. Living the life. You can keep that up for some time and simultaneously have sex with your female neighbors.
Sometimes, I’d keep a dead-end relationship going because there was no alternative. Who am I going to bang when she’s no longer around? Searching for a woman again, inviting her out, getting to know her all over again? Get out of here. Who has the time?
THE MOMENT OF CRISIS
It usually approaches because it has to. One of the two people in the relationship will inevitably suffer. Usually it’s the one who’s convinced that things are still great, because they are in love, so they have to be loved back.
It’s something that I’ve always dreaded. I preferred to wait for the woman to grow up and realize that this relationship should be terminated. There’s a few ways of doing this. You stop talking about your feelings, you quit texting and calling her, you don’t see her as often as you used to…
You know the drill. Sometimes, though, this process takes longer than it should, because your partner starts adapting to the new situation. Or it might be that she will complain, but she’s too moronic to consider leaving you. That’s when you need to hit her with the truth and just end the thing.
I still hate doing i, thought. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too kind.
THE ‘100 DAYS OF LOVE’ THEORY
Three months, more or less. That’s the length of the first, best and most beautiful stage of any relationship. The flawless period of yearning to always be by your partner’s side. Try to think back on your relationship and you’ll see for yourself how long this phase usually lasts.
Three months is a very safe period of time. In that time, in relationships that aren’t based just on sex, the partners desire themselves the most but they aren’t together long enough for the downfall phase to begin. Of course, talking about “love” in this phase is going too far, but it sure sounds good. It’s the three month long phase of coupling/infatuation/whatever you want to call it.
Three months. That’s how long all my future relationships will last. I’m not interested in relationships based on stabilizing emotions, on being with somebody just because you love them or simply tolerate their presence. I don’t want to become bored with a woman ever again, I don’t want to hear her complaining that I’ve become distant, that things used to be different, that I’ve changed… And so on. Just like I don’t want to be the boredom-inducing one, as the case might be.
When both partners agree for the relationship to end after 100 days, they’re granting themselves the best possible times and memories. After that, they should simply part ways. How to tell your partner? Be honest. Say that you don’t want to go through the third phase of the relationship, that you don’t want to risk it and you’d prefer to be left slightly hungry than overfed and nauseous. It’s simple.But what about the fact that you’re depriving yourself of a longterm relationship?
Well, the 100 days scenario is for those of us who aren’t yet looking for mothers and fathers of our future children. That means men over 30 and women over 25.
“What if 100 days is not enough?”, you might ask. And I’ll say to you: ‘not enough’ is good! That’s the whole point! What would you prefer? Would you rather take “not enough”, or break up in anger, hate, disgust, arguments and grudges? It’s a give and take situation. Except for three relationships, being with somebody for longer than 3 months always turned out to be a mistake. And I’ve never regretted any 100 day relationship. Simply by knowing that there’s a 100 day time limit will make you feel the inevitability of the break up. This will fuel you with defiance and an unwillingness to break up with that person. You don’t feel like you’ve had enough of them. You feel unsatiated, yet time is relentlessly going forward. These relationships are the most intense in terms of emotionality. And you feel no guilt after they end, because there was no time for cheating or abandoning your partner. It’s like the last three months of your life. You enjoy every single day and every single night with your partner.
And when the last day approaches, I promise you that it’s the most beautiful thing in the world to separate in agreement and an aura of unfulfilled feelings. It’s certainly prettier than getting to a point of no longer remembering why you fell for the person in the first place and feeling disgusted by your own decisions.
The 100 day system is a gate to a happy life.